Archive for Sports

ADHD Will Save LeBron

After watching stupid groupie bi$@hes welcome back Chris Brown with open arms, I’m now counting down the days before Lebron James regains his popularity. Time makes fools of us all, just ask 2 Pac. Everyone’s on a track talking his name like he didn’t call out the whole industry before his passing. Or Kobe, who is now deemed such a loyal, student of the game. Like he didn’t force trade talks and inspire the greatest coach of our generation to write a book on him. Chris Brown is the latest example of how insignificant a public blunder is as long as you have the right PR team, and enough time where today’s ADHD riddled society can forget your faux pas. The boy turned Rihanna into Evander Holyfield but it’s now chalked up as an “accident” after his Michael Jackson tribute fully equipped with crocodile tears. An accident is when you slip on a banana peel, causing you to lose your balance, and having your overwhelming momentum strike Rihanna in the face a single time. Not a Clubber Lang like beat down which included biting. (Really Chris Brown? Biting?) In a world where Blackberrys are upgrading every time Snooki opens her legs. We currently possess the attention span of a turnip so a couple of these from Lebron, and “The Decision” will be forgotten. (Side tangent: I think that our attention spans will become so pithy, that we’ll be unable to process new memories……resulting in all of us running around like Guy Pearce in Memento) While I don’t like the way Lebron left Cleveland, it’s clear that he’ll be just fine in Miami despite the narrow-minded critics who think everything is set in stone already. Opinions such as: he is now Scottie Pippen, or winning one ring in Cleveland is the equivalent of winning 6 in Miami are so ridiculously stupid that I feel each columnist should give back one weeks pay and a personal apology to their readers.

We all know Lebron wasn’t winning anything with that supporting cast, but I don’t blame Danny Ferry. Every move he made looked like it was right on the money and we all know hindsight is 20/20. Who was booing the Larry Hughes signing or the Jamison trade? Of course everyone is an expert GM after the fact though. Lebron could have mustered up a Jordan like playoff run within the next three years and grinded out a title; but the notion that his career would be complete with one title is so ludicrous. Lebron knew he couldn’t build a dynasty there so he dipped. As for the loyalty thing, he owes everybody NOTHING!! I’ve witnessed athletes time and time again blow out there knee and then get tossed aside effortlessly like a dog that is unamused with its chew toy.

How Lebron is now Scottie Pippen boggles my mind. Him slipping into the Magic Johnson role and possibly averaging a triple double for the rest of his life is considered Scottie Pippen? The one thing that people don’t take into account is that Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh are walking band aids, and Lebron is the Iron Man of the league. There will be a year when he’s got to play without one of them if not both (like Magic in his rookie year when Kareem got hurt and he had to whoop ass and take names at the center position) and he’ll be just fine. Go ask Detroit in 07 or Boston in that game 7 in 08. (Btw, Lebron dropped 45 in that deciding game against the same defence that anally probed Kobe………at the age of 24) Not to mention his playoff series against Orlando where his efficiency rating was in the company of Wilt Chamberlain and MJ. Safe to say Lebron shut it down on purpose in this years playoffs because of a certain team-mate who wanted to bring American Pie to life. We know that Lebron has it in him; and a run of six titles or so where Wade not only stays healthy for each run, but runs each and every playoff push as the Jordan of the team is only possible in Lost.

James Worthy is never called a sidekick because of his triple double in game 7 of the 1988 finals. Your telling me that the walking triple double that is Lebron can’t do the same? Nothing adds up with all these odious predictions…………but what does add up is Lebron’s shot at immortality; and make no mistake about it, a ring or two will cause everyone to refer to “The Decision” as a harmless “accident”, right Chris Brown?

The Kobe Delusion

Famed British Ethnologist Richard Dawkins wrote an extensive idiot proof guide on why he felt that God doesn’t exist; or at least God as we know him. His book, The God Delusion, was one of the most controversial books in years and his blasphemes rhetoric provoked numerous death threats. I bring this to your attention because I feel that debunking Kobe Bryant in the same fashion raises the same quandary, since Kobe has become a “God like” figure. You know……no mere mortal can shoot 6 for 24 in the most career defining game of his life and still have people convinced that he’s Jordan. But he works hard and wants it so we have to give him the benefit of the doubt. (I’m currently rolling my eyes so much right now that I might look like I’m experiencing an epileptic seizure). Everyone needs to understand that the world is not black and white; there is a grey area, and Kobe Bean Bryant fits in that grey area. Not MJ or Magic……but definitely not a buster. Kobe is what he is and he’s proven this on multiple occasions but people want to crown him so badly that they are willing to completely shut off the part of their brain that tracks his failures. I call this the interracial paradox. Anyone who has walked through a mall with a bunch of black girls no that a hush comes over the group upon passing an interracial couple; quickly followed by a snarky comment on how all white girls are taking their men. They fail to register all the happy black couples that they have crossed throughout the mall and not before long, the interracial tally in their head, vastly outweighs the black couples so it feels as if all white girls date black guys and vice versa. Watch that game 7 against Boston (which I am now dubbing the backboard game because I can’t remember another star shooting a serious shot off the backboard in a crucial game) and remind a Kobe extremist that his off the ball defence isn’t as good as advertised because it’s been masked by a strong middle presence throughout his career; or his putrid  performances in the 04 and 08 finals and it won’t compute because that’s the equivalent of the black girls not acknowledging the black couples. This is the man who allowed a 24 point comeback on his own floor. All he needed to do was get 1 bucket down that insane stretch and he flat-out couldn’t do it. How is that greatness? Pair that with his second half boycott in game 7 against the Suns in 06 where he stopped shooting like a punk because the greatest coach of our generation told him to find some balance. All These points are already to many blemishes on his resume to be called the greatest. Not to mention his air ball game winner against Phoenix this year and the fact that he has the two worst shooting percentages for a finals MVP in the last 20 years. Pau Gasol called him out earlier in the year for shooting too much…….please close your eyes right now and tell me the last time the alpha dog on a team was called out by one of his minions. Nope, none of this rings a bell to the die hards because all they process are the interracial couples: The 81 point game, the 35 ppg in 06, the 5 rings, the Laker all-time leading scorer. Which are accomplishments that are not as great as they look once you zoom out and take in the whole landscape.

We punish old school players for playing in the era that they played in. (Oscar Robertson’s stats are quickly brushed a side because of his competition) The same should apply to anyone who has peaked after 1999. After the leagues hand checking  rule was abolished and teams weren’t allowed to punish anyone in the lane. (Ask Isaiah Thomas how much of a difference that makes) Kevin Martin is the prime example of how easy it is to score now. The man built like a toothpick averaged 24 and 25 ppg in 07 and 08. Would he even make it out of the first half in a game against the 92 Knicks? Furthermore, I feel that stats in this era should be adjusted for inflation. Everyone freaks out over the box office numbers that Avatar pulled in, and rightfully so. It was the highest grossing box office draw ever. What people fail to mention is that if Gone with the Wind was adjusted for inflation; then it would be the box office champ. Same rules should apply to NBA stars of the present. Kobe’s 35 ppg looks more like 27-28, and his 81 point game is more like 68. The inflation of the dollar in movies is the equivalent to no hand checking and softer defences and this cannot be OVERLOOKED!! Take a break right now and let this marinate because I don’t want my theory to be compartmentalized like the poor happy black couple. Now that your back, my last theory that puts a chink in Kobe’s armour is the expansion theory. The Sports Guy Bill Simmons shrewdly pointed out that a league with 30 teams is diluted. Think about when you’re doing a fantasy draft in any sport……..the less teams that are participating allows more opportunity to land good players. A league with the Raptors, Grizzlies, Bobcats, Magic, T-Wolves, Heat, and Hornets, scatter the talent around; and please scrap the idea that Jordan should be punished for playing in the league with all those teams because he was raping the league well before all those teams were conceived. I’ll also shoot down the European invasion argument; The addition of talented Europeans should negate the expansion conundrum but since I’m talking about defensive, and the gap between the 90’s and the Aughts, point to one defensive minded European not named Andrei Kirilenko…………I thought so. Kobe dropping a healthy 40 against Peja Stojakovic doesn’t help his case, not even a little bit.

Kobe’s ring count is strictly a subjective matter. No Kobe fan that reads this is going to come out saying, “Mr. Reason is right, Kobe did piggy back the most dominant big man of our generation to 3 rings”. Jus remember that Kobe was interchangeable. Shaq brought a premature Penny to the finals in only his 3rd year and helped Wade get a ring when he was over the hill. Yes he was the reason Wade got that ring! Although Shaq wasn’t the same, the hack a Shaq had Miami living in the bonus and Wade was the beneficiary of this; breaking the finals free throw record. Anybody that could put the ball in the hole and play a little defence would have won with Shaq in his prime. (your telling me Mitch Richmond and Shaq wouldn’t be as deadly if not deadlier?) That leaves Kobe with two legit rings and that’s no more than Isiah Thomas. Maybe if Kobe wows me with a personal 26-0 run that Jordan accomplished by himself against Atlanta in 92. A flu game where he dropped 38, being the only player to drop 40 at the age of 40, getting his MVP game up because he’s stuck at 1, getting MVP/Defensive Player of the Year in the same season, or taking a 2 year hiatus where he clearly would have gotten two more rings and 2 MVP trophies if his dad hadn’t passed away. Then, and only then might I consider Kobe in the same breath; but until then, Jordan and other greats are telling Kobe to go home and get his f@*king shine box.

Next up………Tom Brady!!